Twisted Obama

My parents are even older than me and live in a world of Foxified information. Before Barack Obama entered the presidential race, they were very impressed with him as a person. I haven't heard them speak about Obama for over a year - their political discussions tend to escalate into hysterical rants against Hillary - so I wonder how that impression has since been twisted by Murdoch's minions.

Less "Or More"

My initial post stated the goal for this blog was to maintain one sentence or more per day. I'm doing pretty good with the "per day" for which I've managed at least one sentence (except for January 25 when I was clinically dead for most of the day). It's the "or more" part that I'm increasingly getting carried away with.

Counting Me

Yesterday I ended my entry with a self deprecating remark insinuating that nobody else read this blog. Of course nobody else reading these words was the intention of this blog. The purpose was to get a sustainable heartbeat going by removing the pressure of coherent thought. But how do I know a cult following hasn't formed already. To make sure fame wasn't about to blind side me, I put up a counter over there on the lower right-hand corner. You can check more detailed statistics by clicking the word 'visitors', which takes you to statcounter.com. So now we all know that when I write 'we' and 'you', I am referring exclusively to me.

Wii Got One

5:30 this morning I looked through the ads and saw the Wii on sale at Fred Meyers. The weatherman was predicting snow and/or freezing rain for this morning, neither of which was apparent in our parking lot. But maybe the forecast would be enough to scare off the other Wii-less citizens and give us a fighting chance. My wife insisted our youngest son was in no shape to be standing out in the cold (need to up his violent video game dosage), so it was up to my elder son and me to go out and bag a Wii. We arrived at 6:15 and got behind five other people who confirmed that their purpose for standing outside in sub-freezing weather was the same as ours. The woman at the head of the line was about 40 years old and from her cell phone conversations it became apparent that she was synchronizing her efforts with 4 colleagues situated outside other Fred Meyers around town. The next four people were working together, two brothers, maybe 30 and 40, and their wives. The lead woman and the older brother had called various Fred Meyers the night before and were told that each store would have exactly six Wiis to sell. So we were in! and woe the poor suckers who continued to line up behind us. Except it didn't work on a first-come first-get basis, but rather by lottery, the tickets to be passed out at 6:45.

7:00, with 36 people standing in line, the store's official Wii manager unlocks the front door and commences with the drawing. The first number belonged to the woman in front - can't complain about that. The second number was held by the third person in line, the wife of the younger brother. After responding to some grumblings from behind, the Wii manager shook his box some more and pulled out the next two numbers which belonged to the fifteenth and sixteenth people in line. Now it was the front of the line shouting "shake it more" and after appeasing the crowd with exaggerated jiggles, Mr. Wii read the magic numbers 507, which matched the numbers printed on my son's ticket. I didn't hear the last number drawn due to the excited screams coming from beside me.

So the drama is over, my responsibilities as a father have been fulfilled, and my readers no longer have to suffer through lame wii puns (as if anybody else was reading these words).

Swiss Cheese Memories

Whoa, what happened to yesterday? Like a hole was punched into my calendar.

On one side of the hole it was Thursday. My youngest son missed swimming lessons because of a cold, so I made him play violent video games as soon as he got home, hoping that would sweat out the virus. I picked up my other son from school later in the afternoon, stopped by Trader Joe's to pick up some horse meat for dinner, and dropped off a couple of overdue library mugs on my way home. I remember my neighbor knocking on the door as I cooked dinner. He said he was expecting a package the next day and wondered if I would mind signing for it. He wouldn't tell me what it was, but it would be big, ominously big.

I wished my neighbor happy new year, closed the door, then turned around to find the wall clock scolding my younger son. That's when I realized it was no longer Thursday and I was standing on the other side of a 24 hour wide hole. I walked over to the rim and tried to peer into the center, but all I could make out was a faint image of Charlie Rose interviewing Steve Martin.

Internet Dating

I seem to be the only Dale Burp in the entire world. At least as far as Google is aware. That's good in some ways - it means I won't be held responsible for the actions of other Dale Burp's. If my name was Ronald Fredricks, for example, and I joined one of those Internet dating services, I assume the first thing a girl receiving my name would do would be to google "ronald fredricks". This would get her mostly articles about a guy in New Jersey who doused his puppies with WD-40 lighter fluid and set them on fire. Which must be pretty frustrating for Dr. Ronald Fredricks of Minnesota who runs an adult day treatment center for HIV and AIDS patients. Images of burnt puppies pretty much negates the respect that comes with a PhD.

Mizu Mushi dot com

Anyone hoping to name the next big internet thing "mizumushi.com" is too late. Bayer AG is already using the name for a website promoting their latest athletes foot medicine. German companies shouldn't own Japanese words.

Batman Did Not Die

I thought I heard that Batman died today. It was information that I relayed to my sons and my wife who then spread the news to the rest of the world. Well, probably not my wife because she is a middle age Japanese woman who did not know who Batman was when I broke the bad news. I had to remind her of the awesome movie we took the kids to a couple of years ago. Which failed to move her until she remembered that was the movie in which the girl from Alias met her husband and how sad because they had a baby just last year.

But I was wrong. It wasn't Batman who died but the guy playing Jack Nicholson in the next Batman movie. So if you've been depressed today after hearing about the death of either Batman or Daredevil, you can cheer up. Unless you are a fan of gay cowboys, which is nothing to be ashamed of.

MBA Miasma

What is considered an acceptable modification of reality differs across cultures. This is a factor that most authors of Harvard Case Studies fail to recognize as they cut and paste corporate PR releases into their narratives. Thus foreign marketing mythologies get ingrained into the conventional wisdom of MBA endowed executives. An analysis of the business school case study industry would make for an interesting case study.

Wii Coulda Had One

They told us they have been getting them every other Saturday afternoon and go on sale the next morning. So call Saturday evening to see if they came and if so, get in line by at least 6a.m. on Sunday. We obediently followed the routine last Saturday but, alas, the store had failed to receive Nintendo's blessing that week.

I woke up this Sunday, made my daily jug of coffee, and started flipping through the home furnishings, underwear, and electronic store ads. There it was, in full color, for the msrp of $249. Which meant we were too late, by then they had all been doled out to those who had complied with the directives. But I had forgotten my duties, so wrapped up in my own synapses. And now my sons will continue their suffering because of their father's self-indulgent neurological introspection.

I Got Blisters On Me Synapses

I have to hurry to get everything done before the caffeine wears off. This can't be good for the synapses, they must be rubbed raw by now.

My New Shah

Minutiae is a an interesting looking word. It must have been a popular name in the early history of blogs. I suspect too many people would not recognize the word in print, however. How many minutiae's are orbiting lifelessly around the earth, dribbling revenue into the registrar industry?

Lift-Off

One sentence per day - no less. Perhaps more.