Counting Me Out

The statcounter.com webtracking gizmo seems pretty good in comparison to other free hit counters out there. My sister tried some of the others but none of them had the reliability or credible features that is in the statcounter offering. Looking through their FAQs, I found how to exclude specific PCs from the count, which I did the other day. So now I know that "you" and "we" no longer refers exclusively to "me". You couldn't call my growing readership a following (nor should you call it growing and readership kind of infers that people intentionally come here) but I am getting a couple of strangers per day looking at these words. Probably not these words, most of the views are for an entry that mentions the Filipina American Idol singer Ramiele Malubay. And most of the viewers are coming from - surprise, surprise - the Philippines. It seems a link to this blog turned up on a fansite devoted to the singing wunderkind Charice Pempengco. I didn't know who Charice was either, but after a couple seconds of googling I discovered a page of youtube videos showing performances by an itty bitty teeny tiny 6 year old infant belting out Whitney Houston songs. If you are aroused by any of these videos you should be ashamed of yourself.

Charice Pempengco


Hindi ko alam kung papaano ko po kayo mapapasalamatan sa inyong kabutihan.

Oscar Balls

I am not allowed to watch movies that do not appeal to my sons. Which means I have not seen any of the films up for this year's Oscars. So the only reason to watch the award show would be to see Cate Blanchett or Helen Mirren, who I believe are the same person. I missed the presentation for best supporting actress, which was okay because Cate lost out to David Bowie. I did get to witness Helen Mirren flow down the stage, however, and proceed to bust the entire male audience with her confidence.

2008 American Idol Is...

The promotions for this season's American Idol have Simon proclaiming "the talent is the strongest it has ever been". After watching youtube videos of the top 24 performances, it is obvious the purpose of such statements is to recover from last year's Sanjaya scare rather than any attempt to portray reality. On the men's side, I see no Chris Daughtry-like standouts; they sound exactly alike with only slightly varying levels of proficiency. The same is mostly true for the women, with the exception of Ramiele Malubay. She reminds me of Melinda Doolittle in that she knows how to craft a song and has the confidence to restrain her big voice until the tune calls for it. She is not on the same level as Melinda (Ms. Doolittle had several years experience as a backup singer compared to Ramiele's experience in Philippine karaoke boxes) but Ramiele has the advantage of being so darn cute. She will win not only because she is the most talented, but also because each Filipino in the world will be voting for her several thousand times a week.

Your Next American Idol

Starboofed

Before I ever went to Japan I read in a guide book that it is considered extremely insulting, especially around the Tokyo area, to count the change a sales clerk gives back. After living in Japan for eleven years I would like to modify that advice.

When making a purchase in Japan, it is extremely important to count the change you receive because:
a) Contrary to their own opinions of themselves, honest Japanese are no more adept at making change.
b) Especially around Tokyo, many clerks seem skilled in the art of short-changing their customers.

I drink coffee, no sissy lattes. And black, no cream or nuthin. When I first came back from Japan and started attending morning Starbuck lines, I assumed that if the barista failed to ask "room for cream?" the default would be to fill the cup to the top. I soon learned that customers must be pro-active in their order instructions for "No room for cream." Even that does not guarantee that your coffee will not start out an inch below the brim, no matter how loud and clear you make the "NO". So now after being handed my paper cup, regardless of how long the line behind me, I always rip off the lid and do not hesitate to ask for all the coffee I paid for.

Here Baby, There Mama

I haven't had a hair cut for nine months. Thus the Jesus resemblance. The impetus for growing my hair as long as God can grow it was the Seinfeld episode where Elaine, after seeing an old picture of the guy she's dating, convinces him to stop shaving his head. Upon doing so, they realize that after three years he is incapable of supporting the same luxurious cranium of hair. Knowing that his baldness was no longer a matter of choice, he loses all confidence and Elaine loses all interest. After watching this episode I figured that the next time I was in a situation that allowed me to significantly grow out my hair, instead of Jesus, I would probably look like that hunchback in the Rocky Horror Picture Show who sings the Time Warp.

The Lemmings Turn

The new narrative being picked up by pundits, columnists, and satirists is that a substantial number of voters could be turned off by the creepy cult of personality growing around Obama. This is where a weblog^* is suppose to provide links to corroborating examples, but the chorus is loud and repetitive enough without my contribution. Besides, I cannot imagine a future without Barack Obama as President. I've got my cyanide kool-aid ready just in case.

B and Tina Horror Review

I couldn't work for most of yesterday, I was just too shaken by those horrific images from this week's tragedy. Of course I'm referring to the Tina Turner / Beyonce duet of "Proud Mary" at this year's Grammys. The pairing must have sounded good in the planning room: the fantasy of Beyonce moving her ample resources like a young Tina Turner (who never had an especially good figure) is more than enticing. The reality, however, is just not there. In a Grammy show from another era, John Denver introduced Tina with the remark "God made Tina Turner to teach women how to dance in high heels." Beyonce obviously skipped class.

Aside from the grisly sight of Grandma Turner hobbling around without her walker, several questions keep gnawing at my brain. Who is the evil plastic surgeon making hideous cat monsters out of the most famous beauties in the world? Tina Turner, Cher, Melanie Griffith, Meg Ryan, Barbara Hershey, Dolly Parton, Farrah Fawcett, Priscilla Presley, Kenny Rogers... And how does he continue enticing new victims to undergo his sick mutilations?

For those who witnessed Sunday night's horrors, I am including links of Tina Turner in earlier times that I hope will help cleanse your mind of that dreadful experience. These are the visions of Tina Turner we are meant to die with.

Classic Ike and Tina's "Proud Mary"


Couple other versions here, here, here and here. On Ed Sullivan without the easy. If you really cannot watch Ike, here's one with Tina replacing the Ikettes with Swedish models.

A very early Tina wearing sensible clothes.

Great Balls of Embarrassment

Anyone wanting an example of ridiculous piano theatrics only had to witness the contrast between Lang Lang's and Herbie Hancock's performances during tonight's grammy awards. For an example of piano theatrics sorely missed you could watch Jerry Lee Lewis' subsequent performance of "Great Balls of Fire". Though to be fair, for Jerry to be jumping around on his piano these days would certainly violate several biogerontological laws.

A Place At The Table

I lived in Japan for 11 years, working as a network/qa engineer for Reuters. Non-British gaijins congregated at one particular table in the lunch room. I was welcome at the table because everyone knew I wasn't British since 'bullocks' was not in my vocabulary. They were just as certain that I was Canadian because I had a beard and was too quite to be an American. So I got to hear many extremely derogatory remarks about the British (to which I eagerly contributed) and Americans (of which I quietly noted). And this was during the Clinton era.

Q: How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None because the market will take care of it.

You Oughta Know

Never date a woman whose favorite singer is Alanis Morissette. How many involuntary penectomies have been performed after listening to one of her albums?

Xin Nian Kuai Le

Wow, what a week, what a month! MLK Bday, Groundhog Day, Setsubun, Mardi Gras, Super Fat Tuesday, and now Chinese New Years!! And what an auspicious start - Mitt Romney announces he is dropping out of the presidential race!!! Here's hoping the rest of rat year remains as satisfying!!!!

Piano Detours

While looking for something on the theoretical differences between "fair trade" and "direct trade", I came across this article in the New York Times expressing frustration over the physical histrionics that too many young pianist inject into their performances. Which led me to youtube to watch performances of Lang Lang, Glenn Gould, and Arthur Rubinstein. It is not just that Lang Lang's facial tics and spasmodic episodes distracts from the performance, they seem so insincere, disconnected from the music. Less of an involuntary physical reaction to a spiritual surfeit and more of a willful choice to differentiate his act. Like Kiss applying face makeup.

I'm not sure I agree with Mr. Holland's conclusion that such theatrics turns young people away from classical music, however. When I was in my teens I came into possession of Keith Jarrett's Koln Concert album, which I listened over and over again. It wasn't until later in my adult life that his orgasmic groans and cranial gyrations became intolerable.

Harvard Is Free For Now

You should download Michael Porter's and Mark Kramer's Strategy and Society before the Harvard Business Review starts charging for it. This is an article that will be linked and referenced by every future academic paper containing the word sustainability. Don't wait and be forced to pay just to find out if it is pertinent to your research.

Thoughtless Criticism

I wanted to write sentences containing such words and phrases as: "FairTrade certification", "engender opacity", "social structures", "anti-market market solutions", and "organization dedicated to creating transparency". But that would take a coherency of thought that was walled off earlier this evening behind some remote sleep centers in my brain.

Oni Wa Soto

I can't believe it's another Setsubun already. Which means tomorrow morning I will be spending a great deal of effort scraping smashed beans from the sidewalk because the soy beans sold here don't bake to the same crispy orbs that can be readily swept up. Fortunately my neighbor is a mellow musician who doesn't let smashed soy beans under his toes spoil his day. Unless he still harbors resentment over my failure to be here when the FedEx guy delivered his ominously big box.

Meta Groundhog

Every year my family does the same thing on Groundhog Day. We watch the movie "Groundhog Day". This is such an obvious tradition, I'm surprised I haven't heard of other families following a similar ritual. I was also surprised that a cable channel doesn't run the movie over and over again today. I suspect that in the early days of cable there were channels that ran "Groundhog Day" marathons on Groundhog Day but doing so now would be considered a sign of an unimaginative program director.

Four-eyed Jesus

The picture on my profile is what I looked like 90 years and two ancestors ago. Currently I resemble Jesus Christ with glasses.

Wong Kar-What?

My first introduction to a non-Jackie Chan Hong Kong movie was "Fallen Angels" by Wong Kar-Wai. The release of this movie was very big in Japan. Part of the reason was Japanese/Taiwanese actor Takeshi Kaneshiro who was already popular in Japan. This movie pushed him beyond heart-throb status and immediately after this movie came out he probably worked on more Japanese than Chinese projects.

I didn't see the movie in theaters and couldn't rent it until demand subsided several months after its video release. I must have watched it at least five times in a row the first day I finally got a copy. In contrast to Jackie Chan movies, Wong Kar-Wai's work is not easily understood, with or without comprehensible subtitles. There is a scene where after a kill the hitman, Leon Lai, gets on a bus and is recognized by an old high school acquaintance who proceeds to try to sell him a life insurance policy. This scene with its juxtoposition of exhilerating violence followed by the extremely mundane is often mentioned in reviews. However, I don't believe the realism and beauty of the images can be appreciated to the same extent as someone experiencing his daily environment unable to comprehend surrounding conversations. Trying to decipher the dialogue in this movie was the same experience I felt trying to make sense of that morning's subway ride to Tokyo Station.

Of the two trailers, I think the Japanese version gives the impression of a movie with more substance, something beyond a violent thrill ride. Is that just a choice of music or a better sequencing of images.

Japanese Trailer


Chinese/English Trailer

Incomprehensible Bliss

I started watching Hong Kong films in Japan shown with Japanese subtitles. Which is the best way to watch the movies. Unless you can read Japanese.

Jackie Chan movies, especially, are much more entertaining when the dialogue is in Chinese and you are not distracted by a comprehensible translation. The plot, even the jokes, are just as easy to follow. However, the script is not covered with the same patina of lameness that tends to tarnish Jackie Chan movies when shown in the U.S.